Today is a day to rejoice in the goodness of the Lord! Today is the day to shed tears of joy instead of sorrow! Today is the day to praise Jesus Christ for his redeeming blood! Today is the day that I will share that my husband accepted gave his heart to the Lord just a few short days ago! When I heard the news, I started crying tears of joy! My children came running to me to ask what was wrong and I told them that I was happy. They were a bit confused (what 3 and 2 year old wouldn’t) but I explained to them why and they smiled and gave me a big hug.
Don’t you wives realize that your husbands might be saved because of you? And don’t you husbands realize that your wives might be saved because of you? Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches.
– 1 Corinthians 7:16 – 17 (NLT)
Ever since my husband left, it has been a whirlwind of emotions, a lot of tears and sleepless nights. I relied on the Lord and my crochet to keep me comforted and sane. Some days were harder than others but for the most part I kept as much laughter in the house as I could. Some days my son would come up to me crying that he missed daddy and I would cry with him and pray that the Lord would give us some comfort. My daughter would ask, “Where’s daddy?” and depending on the time of day, I would say at work, at grandpa’s or I don’t know (usually said when I really had no idea where he was). I started praying with the children (NEVER to early to start) before I would put them to bed and together we would pray for his safety and his return home. It helped a lot because they were helping to make sure that daddy was ok.
Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.
– Proverbs 22:6 (NLT – emphasis added)
When I look at my life the way that it is right now, I am happy. I am happy because I am one step closer to the vision the Lord revealed to me 2 years ago. The news that my husband shared with me strengthened my walk and even gave me an extra boost! I have been studying God’s word with such an intensity before but now I am spiritually thirsty and want to continue to drink the bitter-sweet words of God. That is a good place to be! I want more and more and can’t get enough! I pray this thirst never dies out because you can never learn too much about the Lord and who he is.
Constant prayer and fasting when I felt led in the Spirit to do also helped. I can shed my tears and all I would say is, “Jesus” over and over again. He knows my heart and in those times I couldn’t formulate my words — all I could say was Jesus. There were times where I would be pacing my bedroom or the living room praying aloud and plea the divine blood of Jesus Christ over my husband. There were times I would be laying flat on my face, prostrate before the Lord asking for his grace and mercy. There were times where I would silently pray and other times while running errands. I tell you, people at Walmart and Harris Teeter must think I’m crazy! 😀
I never thought I would have seen my husband saved so soon! Not to say that I didn’t want to see him saved but how he grew up and being in the military made him a hard case to deal with. People don’t understand that there are things such as generational curses. I will give you an example. My father used to smoke. I have never seen my father smoke nor have I heard about him smoking until the day he found out that I smoked. That is when he told me how he used to smoke when he was younger. That is a generational curse. That spirit that gives us the desire to drink, smoke, be violent, use profane language, have anger issues, insecurities can become a generational curse. You hear all the time, “Well my parents did it or my grandparents did the same things so I guess that it is ok”. No it’s not! The cycle can be broken! We are conditioned to believe that there is no way out. “It’s hereditary” or “take this pill and they will be fine” when all they need is salvation. The only person that can give it is the Lord Jesus Christ. He was our payment for salvation we didn’t earn. His blood was shed so we could have a chance at true freedom. I say chance because accepting Jesus is a personal choice. We are not automatons.
Under the old system, the high priest brought the blood of animals into the Holy Place as a sacrifice for sin, and the bodies of the animals were burned outside the camp. So also Jesus suffered and died outside the city gates to make his people holy by means of his own blood. So let us go out to him, outside the camp, and bear the disgrace he bore. For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come. Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to his name.
– Hebrews 13:11-15 (NLT – emphasis added)
There is an upside as well. There are also generational blessings. Traits that are good and just can be passed down as well. All we have to do is instill it in our children and our families. Jesus can break those chains of imprisonment and replace them with his love, compassion and virtues! Who wouldn’t want that? To have a peace of mind when going to bed at night and despite what you may be going through because you know the Lord has already fought the battle.
A huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I have been thanking God consistently. The next step for us is to start the reconciliation process. I’m not worried at all and can take it easy because God is in the midst of this relationship and is alive in both of us. He will be the center and foundation of this marriage. When we cannot agree, we can take it to the Lord. It doesn’t mean that our walk won’t be difficult at times but we can rely on the Lord — always.
So I urge you for my brothers and sisters that are going through, no matter how small or great, hold fast to the Lord — he has the path set before you. All you have to do is follow him.