You might ask why this would be a topic for meditation but if you think about it and are brutally honest with yourself, it is the perfect reason to sit down and reflect.
My husband grew up in a family that you hear about all the time. It was the definition of dysfunction. His home was split between his mom, dad, aunt and grandmother. He and his brothers were raised in an abusive environment and when they couldn’t take it anymore, they ran away to another family member. They had no real childhood. My husband was the worst because his parents split when he was young. Too young to learn how to cope with it properly and because of this, he has developed a flight instinct when situations get too rough. This continued into his late teens and at 17, he joined the military to run away again. He “grew up” in the military and coupled with his upbringing, it made for a deadly concoction of paranoia, habitual lying, and the inability to deal with life issues.
I did not know this when we met and it was only after we wed did these issues arise. The deployments made it worse and with the PTSD, he is a ticking time bomb. He never knew how to deal with problems as they came up in life. He was taught, by inaction of his family, to not talk about it and carry on as if nothing is wrong. This carried into our family and if not taken care of, will spill over and be passed on to our children. Now, I fear, it will drive him mad.
I all this because running away from problems doesn’t effect you but also the people around you. It’s easy to run away but problems have a funny way of creeping up when you least expect it and at the most inopportune time. It is best to bite the bullet and take the problems head on one at a time. Whether it is financial, familial, or at the workplace, it is up to you to find the courage to cope and resolve the issue. Yes it is stressful and yes you may want to crawl in a hole in hopes it will go away but until it is dealt with you will never have the relief of the burden being taken off his shoulders. Anything worth doing takes courage and patience. And the best part is, you don’t have to do it alone.
I think that’s the main fear…being alone in a dire situation. Thinking we are weak because we cannot deal with it on our own. ‘It’s a personal problem. I can’t help you’ or we hear, ‘Keep your issues at home. We don’t want any personal drama to effect the environment.’ While there is some truth to these statements there should be concern expressed as well. We’ve been conditioned to feel ashamed when problems arise and because of this shame we don’t seek the help we need. Take a moment, when you have time, and think about some of the things you have run away from or are still running away from. Ask yourself, if this was your best friend, how would you go about helping them? Hopefully you can find an answer. It will take time, a lot of patience and determination to resolve. It’s not impossible.
Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisors bring success.
Gather your trusted advisors. If you don’t have any, seek some out. It doesn’t have to be someone you know either, just someone who can help clarify your situation in a way you can handle it. If that is not a viable option, you can always pray. Be sincere. You’d be surprised with the outcome.
Hey, you can’t knock it if you don’t try it!