The Saddest Day…

Normally I do not post on the weekend but I don’t know what else to do and I need to get this off of my chest before the pain of it all passes and imprints on my children.

My husband left today.  No matter how I try to wrap my head around it I can’t. He has severe PTSD from being overseas (he was an infantryman) and it messes with him all the time. He has to take medication for the rest of his life. It was good again when he was first on the meds but now his body has gotten used to it and it is no longer working. That means temper tantrums, paranoia, nightmares, angry outbursts, suicidal thoughts, etc. You name it, he’s got it and bad. He leaves and after a few days, he’s back. Now the kids are older, they get scared of him. I told him today was the last day that you will walk out of our lives. I’m tired of defending myself to a person who doesn’t have a grip on reality. I’m tired of being accused. But mainly, I’m sad that he won’t get a grip and get the help he needs. I love him very much. I always will but enough is enough.

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4 thoughts on “The Saddest Day…

  1. I wish I had a great thing to tell but all I can think of is that this is the opening to the door that steps up. Once you pass thru this door another will come and it will be another step up! Each step will be hard and worth it. I wish you peace and send many positive energies your way! Keep your chin up this is just a step!!!!

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  2. (((hugs))) I have no similar experiences, but you are wonderful person, and whatever comes your way is what is meant for you. Keep writing. It will get you through!! xoxo

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    • Thanks. It’s actually the reason why I started this blog in the first place. Not having friends in the area except for his family is quite a downer, especially when they don’t show that they care about me or how I feel about this whole thing. His whole family is the definition of dysfunction….sad but true. Coupled with his illness, he’s a walking time bomb.

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